The Bird Poop

Thank You Mr. President?

2007-02-07T19:13:00.000-05:00

When I started this blog it was for the sole intent as claimed in my introduction as a rhetorical exercise for the quest of humor, sanity, and other great things that make the world go around.

Well, I am back....

It was never my diliberate intent to slant my writings toward the political forums, but if you review my blog the majority of the blogs did focus on this due to the historical incompetency demonstrated by this administration.

With that said, Americans owe a great debt of gratitude to this President, as a role model to the future young minds of America:

Indeed President Bush has proven:

That one does not have to be bright to lead the most powerful nation on the planet.

That one can commit crimes from snorting blow, to driving while impaired, to avoiding military service, to lieing us into a war we had no business in STARTING, through the potential act of treason to support a Machavellian mind set that is the foundation of the Neo-Conservative agenda reflected in nearly every aspect of our foreign policy from the Mideast, to China, to our border security.

Spin and Marketing is everything and we only accept facts that are for our policies and not against them, as we expect the same thing from our allies (lap dogs) like Great Britain.

How to effectively use divide and conquer strategies in achieving your end goals. This especially worked well in the election of 2004, when a proven loser such as George W. Bush defeated a potential loser like John Kerry. It is sad these same tactics were not used in our so-called “war on terrorism”.

Yes if Bill Clinton was the honorary first black president, then George W, Bush beat Hillary to the punch of being the first honorary woman president:

NO Balls, although the President has no masculine or feminine characteristics (courage, integrity, honesty, or backbone) what so ever to lead this great nation.

We as a nation are indeed in a great deal of debt to this President and his neo-conservative administration for showing our future where ideology stops and potential treason starts.

Impeachment is now inevitable, criminal charges are highly probable, and the only questions should be is when will this happen, and possibly how long do the hangman’s ropes need to be?

The time is now, to IMPEACH the President, and bring criminal charges on the radical terrorist elements of the neo-conservative movement in America.

The Bird is back, unfortunately the political climate in our great nation still sucks!

Welcome to The Bird Poop!

2005-11-21T23:44:00.000-05:00

The Bird Poop

Introdution

Welcome to “The Bird Poop”, a rhetorical exercise for the quest of humor, sanity, and other great things that make the world go around.

You and I share this planet with over 6 .5 billion other people, some who take themselves far too seriously. I suppose if this were a crime, we would all deserve the occasional fine, flogging or frying, depending upon the judge.

Why “The Bird Poop”?

The Bird” has been my nickname going back to my youth when I still pooped yellow. For those of you unfamiliar with Starlings (My last name), they are little black birds in the South that like eating your new grass seeds and then poop on your freshly washed car.

As for “Poop”, first it is harder to offend people by referring to my own rantings out of the gate as “Poop”. Secondly the word “Poop” sounded a heck of lot nicer than crap or shit, it had a better ring than doo-doo, and was not as clinical as feces.

This bird’s nest was made in the USA. It has no boundaries, and is made with a little straw, a bit of wit, and a complete lack of sensitivity.

As you read the Poop, please understand that English is my second language, and I do not have a first. Also I believe being able to spell a word only one way shows a complete lack of creativity.

Yes the only PC here is the one I am pecking on. So sit back and hang on, The Bird Poop revolution has begun!

Nothing but love,

The Bird

Military History 101

2005-11-21T11:15:00.000-05:00

Alexander the Great did it. The Roman Empire did it. The British Empire did it. Even General George Patton did it.

What did they do? They utilized military and infrastructure resources of their conquered enemy to maintain order of the conquered land.

The first U.S. Administrator Paul Bremmer ordered on May 23, 2003 to disband Hussein's nearly 400,000-strong army is just another example of mismanagement of the War in Iraq by this administration and the Pentagon.

They removed the Iraqi army when there were not enough U.S. troops to fully secure the country. This left borders open, flamed the insurgency and encouraged the growth of private militias, the critics say. Jobless and embittered, many troops have turned to the insurgency.

In fact, according to the Washington Post the majority of insurents are Iraqi nationals. It is impossible to estimate the number of insurgents, the Pentagon has claimed 10,000 -15,000.

The credibility of Intelligence from the bureuacrats at the Pentagon and this Administration seems to get lower everyday, so it is not without reason that many critics backed by resources such as the London Times believe that number to be a great a deal higher.

After 3 years this Administration has finally decided to actively call upon the soldiers of Saddam' s army to enlist in the new army at their old ranks.

In History 101 our military gets A's, the Administration F's. That is one hell of a bell curve, and is the reason why many consider Iraq to be such a mess.

Maybe next time the President will except Rumsfeld's resignation.

What's Wrong With Walmart?

2005-11-19T23:30:00.000-05:00

The Red Star can be found on Red Chinese Soldiers Uniforms, their tanks, their missiles, and now they may be found on America's largest business... I think they are trying to tell us something.

Red China Meets Red Neck

2005-11-19T22:25:00.000-05:00

Originally posted on February 26, 2005

With the class action law suits, and continued hiring/contracting of illeagal aliens I have pulled this post from the archives as it is worth a read to any new visitors to the Birdpoop.

Setting the Stage

Walmart is the largest business in America, and its annual revenues are the envy of other retailers even other nations. Founded by former K-Mart executive Sam Walton, Walmart burst onto the retail scene led by what many considered “good ole fashion American innovation”.

Today many view Walmart to be one of the more controversial companies in the United States. Walmart’s “one-stop shopping” has been blamed by many for destroying main street businesses and rural economies across the nation. Meanwhile many families in urban and rural communities turn to Super Walmarts to aid in the most important economy, one’s household.

Labor and Business Relations

Walmart has hired and contracted illegal labor in the US, and purchases products from businesses in countries around the world that use oppressed labor. Walmart has been accused of breaking labor laws in states across the USA including hiring illegal aliens, discrimination, denying benefits, and forcing employees to work of the clock.

The sheer size of the organization in number of stores across the world allows them to dictate pricing and for the most part non-negotiable terms with American and global manufactures of all shape and sizes wishing to do business in Walmart Stores.

By the end of January many of Walmart’s major suppliers (including American giant Microsoft) will be required to ship radio frequency identification (RFID) tags on all pallets of materials shipped to Walmart. “Wow, it's Mayberry RFID!”

But the Parking Lot is Always Full

The majority of us still shop at Walmart at some point each year. Many Americans even love Walmart, and visit daily or weekly.

Personally the number of times I have shopped at a Walmart in any given year can be counted on one hand. On the other hand my wife enjoys the convenience of Walmart.

I cannot lie when I do go to Walmart I usually leave with something I had no intention of purchasing when I entered the store. It is the other things I know I can count on in my Walmart shopping experience though that keeps me going back:

Ugly people. If you elect not to bathe, wash your hair, shave, brush your teeth,or even wipe your butt prior to your Walmart shopping experience, don’t worry there will always be someone at Walmart that looks and smell worst than you do.
Drinking and shopping. So let’s say you decide to do a little binge drinking prior to your shopping experience, don’t worry there will always be someone there that started drinking 30 minutes before you did.
Products manufactured in countries that have no regards for human rights, equate to lower cost to the American consumer.
Like the Cartwrights walking to the corrupt sheriffs office to spring little Joe on a thrilling episode of Bonanza, many folks shopping together at Walmart believe they must walk side by side through Walmart’s aisles.
The scowl of overworked and underpaid employees, and the little smiley face roll-back signs all over the store.
You have twisted mini Springer episodes that are free to the shopper as some Walmart clients talk on their cell phones about all sorts of subjects, while they fill their carts with beer, smokes, and baby formula.

Please do not take this as an elitist slam on Walmart customers as a whole, because almost all of us fall into the category of being a Walmart customer at some point of our lives. In fact on the street I grew up the further you went down our street the sorrier people got, our house was the last house on the left!

But the next time you go to the Super Walmart to buy your groceries, change your car’s oil, purchase your gas, get your child’s birthday gift, bring home a pre-censored DVD, do your banking and to have your hair done, if you happen to be one of these Springer refugees, PLEASE don’t forget to stop by the Walmart Pharmacy and pick up your birth control.

The China Syndrome

If Walmart were a country, it would be the 8th largest importer of products made in China. Put aside for a moment corporate security issues, and China's manipulation of currency, we as a nation have national security issues we should consider with regards to China.

In all our excitement to kill terrorist, we seem to have forgotten about Communism, and the continued build up of the Red China army. After all, it was only a few years ago that the same nation of China, the same country that big business is anxious to embrace in the global economy massacred student protestors at Teinemen Square.

The largest supporter of crazy Lil’ Kim and his North Korean Axis of Evil Band is you guessed it “Red China”.

And it was during the Korean Conflict we killed over 400,000 Chinese, they killed over 40,000 Americans/UN allies, and the home team of Korea suffered over 2 Million deaths due to North Korea and China’s “Korean Unification Policy”. Conflicts are Hell!

So if this is the fortune cookie of the American economy, what is our fortune,… “Got egg rolls?”

Conclusion

As for you swine screwing (Soooey Pig) executives of Walmart and the Walton heirs “just get bent in Bentonville”, and as for me personally I think I will attempt even more to take my business elsewhere!

"I Had Other Priorities At The Time."

2005-11-18T15:50:00.000-05:00

It is not a requirement that an elected official serve in the military, but with all the chest beating from the Neo-Cons regarding the War in Iraq you would have thought someone would have served in the military.

Dick Cheney is on the record of saying that "I had other priorities at the time".

George W. Bush dodged Vietnam by defending the skies of Alabama in the Air National Guard, where he went AWOL.

Frist, No Military Service. Delay, No Military Service. Rove, No Military Service. So what politicians did serve our country in military duty?

Hey, The Bird did not serve in the military either. But then again, I also did not start a war, mismanage a war, or lie about the reasons to go to war.

Another Word for Neo Con Politicians; Pussies

2005-11-18T15:13:00.000-05:00

George W. Bush and his cronies have made a political career of slamming War Veterans. John McCain, John Kerry, and now John Murtha.

Yes the light is showing Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld, Rove and the rest of the neo con gang for what they truly are, nothing more then Cads and Cowards.

House Speaker J. Dennis Hastert (R-Ill.) accused Murtha of delivering "the highest insult" to the troops. "We must not cower."

Majority Leader Roy Blunt (R-Mo.) informed Murtha that his views "only embolden our enemies" and lamented that "Democrats undermine our troops in Iraq from the security of their Washington, D.C., offices."

At a rival news conference called four hours after Murtha's appearance, Rep. J.D. Hayworth (R-Ariz.), who like Hastert and Blunt does not have military service on his rsum, alerted the 73-year-old Murtha that "the American people are made of sterner stuff." And Rep. John Carter (R-Tex.) said the likes of Murtha want to take "the cowardly way out and say, 'We're going to surrender.' "

Though Murtha had the last word:

"I like guys who've never been there to criticize us who've been there. I like that," the burly old Marine said, hands in pocket. Referring to Vice President Cheney, he continued: "I like guys who got five deferments and never been there, and send people to war, and then don't like to hear suggestions about what needs to be done."

-Congressman John Murtha (Retired Colonel USMC)

A New Neck Tie for the Administration?

2005-11-17T11:32:00.000-05:00

This administration may well go down as not only the worst in our nation's history, but perhaps the first administration to be charged with treason.

Constitutionally treason is a very difficult charge to prove, but if proven the consequences are far more serious than impeachment.

I believe it can be proven that the Bush administration planned on invading Iraq long before September 11, 2001.

I believe it may very well be proven that pre war intelligence was manipulated by this Administration to justify the invaision of Iraq.

I believe it is a matter of fact that the pre war intelligence available to the White House was far different than the intelligence available to the Senate. So the Republican propaganda that they had the same intelligence as we did is yet another case of perjury within the administration.

I believe it will be proven that it was a deliberate action of this administration to leak a CIA operative.

If all this can be proven should not the crime be treason?

Under the best light for this administration it took the worst case intelligence scenarios to justify the war, and expected the best case scenarios with regard to the outcome. They have been totally incompetent in their management and goals for the War in Iraq, and the mission.

Cowards from this administraion have misled America, especially our brave men and women in uniform. They beg for America to stay the course in what is a disaster. Our troops have succeeded on many fronts on their mission in Iraq, but a force fed democracy is not a realistic objective for the middle east.

Today, Representative John Murtha who served for 37 years in the United States Marine Corps said "U.S. and coalition troops have done all they can in Iraq. It's time for a change in direction."

"Our military has accomplished its mission and done its duty," he said. "Our military captured Saddam Hussein, captured or killed his closest associates, but the war continues to intensify."

"I resent the fact that on Veterans Day, they criticized Democrats for criticizing them," Murtha said. "This is a flawed policy wrapped in illusion. The American public knows it, and lashing out at critics doesn't help a bit. You've got to change the policy. That's what's going to help the American people. You need to change direction."

Nicely done sir!

The Great Neo-Conspiracy

2005-10-28T16:26:00.000-04:00

What is a Neo-Con?

The Neo-Conservative?

The word Neo-Con first started out being a simple oxy moron for "New Conservative" or "New Traditionalist". But like it's members and those that support them the word is a living contradiction.

It starts with how can anyone be a New-Traditionalist, and secondly how can these people even be considered true conservatives. Abe Lincoln, Teddy Roosevelt, Barry Goldwater, Henry Kissinger, even Newt Gingrich, were truly honorable old school conservative thinkers.

First of all not all Republicans are Neo-Cons. The modern father of the Neo-Con movement was the late President Ronald Reagan. The Neo-Cons are not thinkers or conservative. Their very existance is a foundation of scheming rather than dreaming. They promote hate over hope, and use fantastic spin machines and manipulation to attack their enemies and to cover their failures.

The Neo-Conartist?

But the "evolution" of the word Neo-Con, or if you are into the occult "intelligent design" does not stop with this single definition. The word Neo-Con has quickly morphed itself with a little help from its constituents into the "Neo-Conartist" or the "New Swindle", as it has manipulated millions of fine Americans into believing the Neo-Con agenda was best for the common man.

Nothing could be any further from the truth. The neo-conservatives answer only to special interests groups, big business, the upper 2% of the economic class, and occaisionally the radical religous right (America's Taliban).

The New Con offers the middle class modest tax cuts, but this money to the average American is quickly spent on state and local tax hikes which is a direct result of their idiotic federal policies such as no child left behind, border security policies, homeland security, and others.

The New Con promotes the global outsourcing of big business devastating to middle class incomes.

The New Con approves of the recent record breaking quarterly earnings for big oil industries, while the rest of us have picked up the tab at the pump, in our energy bills, and rising inflation.

The New Con promotes monopolies over competition.

The New Con promotes religion and values when they have neither.

The New Con uses words like war, patriotism and freedom to rally the masses but cares really only about their political ambitions for power.

The New Con is spending hard earned tax dollars on a War in Iraq, rather than investing in America. The New-Con attempts to justify the Iraq War in the name of national security.

The New Con feeds off the money, blood, and lives of middle class Americans.

The Neo-Convict?

America is a great place and the judgement day of the Neo-Cons has started and it is happening at a fast and furious pace. It promises to right these wrongs of Neo-Con Ideologies and propaganda.

Tom Delay has been indicted for conspiracy and money laundring.

Bill Frist is under Investigation, and may be indicted for insider trading.

And today Scooter Libby (Vice President's Cheif of Staff) was indicted for 1 count of obstruction of justice, 2 counts of perjury, and 2 counts of false statements.

A new grand jury might well be appointed in the near future to bring further indictments against other members of the Bush administration, including Karl Rove and Dick Cheney.

As Americans each of these individuals are entitled to their right to a fair trial and due process, but it is this writer's opinion that each of the Neo-Cons will eventually be revealed by their jury for what they truly are; Neo-Convicts.

But don't believe the Bird, give the American judicial system a chance. Wait and hear it from their juries. Wait for reality and not opinions.

Perhaps the words of President Bush actually said it best today in a speech he delivered in Norfolk, Virginia shortly after Libby's indictment:

“Evil men obsessed with ambition and unburdened by conscience must be taken very seriously and we must stop them before their crimes multiply.” -George W. Bush

AMEN Mr. President!

As for the rest of us keep the faith, because the truth will set you free.

NOTE:

Speaking of the truth:

The Neo-Con Agenda Link in this post is a rather radical left Opinion/Editorial. I do not agree with many things in this essay. Although I do believe it represents a more accurate portrayal of the Neo-Conservative agenda than the propaganda found on Neo-Con radio.
The quote in this post by the President is accurate, but like hate radio I took it completely out of context. The President made this statement in reference to a metaphor he was using comparing Al-Quida to Hitler and Stalin, and not Neo-Con Indictments.
I hope you will find there are some big differences between the Birdpoop and hate radio. I state in my opening that my blog represents my opinions and observations. I give equal time to those commenting on my opinions pro or con. Heck, I have even left the Spammers post. And I have the integrity to inform the reader when I use quotes out of context.

My Greatest Day!

2005-10-28T15:15:00.000-04:00

Six Years ago today was the greatest day of my life. It was on October 28, 1999 that my son was born.

You and your sister are now and always will be my pride and joy.

Happy Birthday Big Guy!

On the Fly...

2005-10-27T15:23:00.000-04:00

October 27, 2005
On the Fly…

Do Politicians Look Good in Orange Jump Suits?

The self-proclaimed values based neo conservatives continue to live up to expectations, that is if you consider values to be graft, corruption and cronyism.

As of this date America awaits to see what indictments if any will hit this administration. And what about Hot Tub Tommy, the hammer now is in the hands of Ronnie Earle? And don’t forget Dr. Do-Little Bill Frist and a possible indictment of insider trading regarding his dumping of shares of Columbia HCA stock.

Unfortunately graft, corruption, and cronyism has become the foundation of American politics at local, state, and federal levels, and it is not limited to just the neo-conservatives. In fact it may be the last bastion of truly bi-partisan ideologies.

It is especially prominent in the South, where “the good ole boy” governing has been a staple of Southern government that goes back to the colonies. Another example of this was in the Washinton Post today when Former Democratic Governor Don Siegelman of Alabama was indicted for racketeering.

Of course just like the above-mentioned neo conservatives, Siegelman has dismissed this grand jury probe as a political witch-hunt.

Whether it is Republicans or Democrats it seems that personal accountability only applies to the common man.

Look if you are in an elected position, and trusted by your constituents to lawfully represent them and their best interest then do so. But as with anyone who is placed in a powerful position, you are going to make enemies. These enemies will pounce at the chance to bring you down. If you chose to dance to close to the flame, whether you are Delay or Siegelman you have to recognize this.

We live in a wonderful country where we fight our revolutions in the voting booth. If necessary these revolutions will be fought in a court of law, where you are innocent until proven guilty. Say what you will about lawyers or prosecutors, but it beats blood in the streets.

So regardless of what side of the political fence you fall on it all comes down to 2 clichés; “The truth will set you free”, or “Don’t do the crime if you can not do the time.”

Here Comes the Judge?

Today Harriet Miers formally withdrew her nomination for the Supreme Court.

In 2004 Boy George promised those that voted him in office, while he did not have a litmus test for Supreme Court nominees that he was looking for someone in the mold of Anthony Scalia or Clarence Thomas.

After what seemed to be a slam-dunk middle of the road decision in the appointment of John Roberts, his fellow neo conservatives were looking for the President to fulfill those expectations he established in 2004 for his second Supreme Court nominee.

Evidently Ms. Miers did not meet these neo conservative expectations.

Perhaps she did not meet the Roe vs. Wade litmus test of the powers in the neo conservative congress and senate?

Perhaps it was due to her arrogant responses to her questionnaire to congress regarding her views to the interpretation of constitutional law, and her capabilities to be an effective Supreme Court judge?

Perhaps it was like Laura Bush said that many of the neo conservatives might have problems with a woman nominee?

Perhaps she was missing the Anthony Scalia uni-brow?

Or perhaps a woman that needs a can of WD-40 and a oyster knife just to masturbate, had to many sexual hang ups when compared to Clarence Thomas, a man who had an alleged history of loose an aggressive sexual behavior?

What I do know, she lost me when she said George W. Bush was the most brilliant man she had ever met. After this statement I not only questioned her ability to be an effective judge, but even her mental competency as an American citizen to even stand trial.

For different reasons for once I am in the Neo Conservative Camp! Pretty scary, but as long as you remember not to bend over when you pick up the soap all is well at Camp Neo Con. If found guilty this practice may well serve Delay, Frist, Rove, and other Neo Cons in their next career, as potential inmates!

A Bumper Sticker I Would Like to See

2005-09-27T21:08:00.000-04:00

George W. Bush, Living Proof that Barbara Bush Screwed Forrest Gump!.

9-11-05

2005-09-11T08:55:00.000-04:00

Not a day goes by that we do not remember the attack, reflect on our national security, and pray for the families of the fallen; both at home and abroad.

America will never forget. ..

Americans Coming Together...

2005-09-10T10:33:00.000-04:00

I received this post on my blog, and it truly reflects the greatness of the American citizens and businesses in a time of crisis.

Allen High School request for specific help. AISD has had about 100 students enrolled as a result of the Katrina hurricane. The College Center has put together backpacks for new students. A collection point is being established at the High School in the College Center for following new items: curling irons, blow dryers, make up, purses, billfolds, belts, combs, brushes, hair gel, etc. --- Also gift cards from: Target, Wal-mart, Kohl’s, JC Penney, Belk’s, Old Navy, Payless, Famous Footwear, any restaurants (McDonald’s, Chili’s, etc), grocery stores, etc. are needed.

The donations delivered to the High School will be distributed to the new students at the High School first, and excess items will be taken to ACO for distribution. Please forward this information to others that you have in your address book. Please check with schools in your area., they may also have new students in need of a little extra help. Thanks for your help on this effort, Donations for these students can be sent to: Allen High School 300 Rivercrest Blvd.Allen, Texas 75002

To learn more about these efforts, here is their contact information:

Allen High School
300 Rivercrest
Allen, Texas 75002
Steve Payne, Principal 972.727.0400

To visit their Web Site, Click Here.http://www.allenisd.org/

Whether you donate supplies to Allen High School, or another agency it is important that we all give what we can.

Unfortunately while crisis bring out the best in America it also brings out the worst. So please make sure that your donations especially cash donations are going to reputable organizations.

Your local Schools and Churches are always a safe bet. It also provides an excellent lesson for the children in compassion and citizenship.

Nothing But Love,

The Bird

Like a Bridge Over Troubled Water...

2005-09-10T00:11:00.000-04:00

History 101

Once upon a time there was an evil Communist Empire known as the Soviet Union. The evil empire was a bitter enemy to our country the United States of America.

Both the United States and the USSR were nuclear super powers. Neither nation trusted each other so on July 21 1955, President Dwight D. Eisenhower proposed the "Open Skies" Treaty at a summit conference held in Geneva, Switzerland. Since the early 1950's the United States had tried to gain as much reconnaissance information as possible about the Soviet development of offensive weapons systems. Although most surveillance flights were carried out in international airspace off the coasts of Russia, a few flights were flown over Soviet territory in violation of international law.

Because the Soviet Union was a closed society, gathering reliable intelligence information was very difficult. President Eisenhower reasoned that getting permission to fly over Soviet military facilities while granting permission for the Soviets to fly over US military installations would greatly ease tensions between the two superpowers.

Unfortunately, the Soviets immediately rejected the "Open Skies" Treaty proposal fearing the US intended to trick the USSR into a disadvantageous position. As a result, the US was very apprehensive about Soviet development of long range bombers and more advanced nuclear weapons. The supposed "Bomber Gap" led President Eisenhower to authorize the continued reconnaissance flights (including the over flights) because the Soviet threat was judged to be more important than the international incident that would result if a US plane was shot down over Soviet territory.

On May 1st, 1960, the international incident the United States dreaded happened when a CIA U-2 piloted by Frances Gary Powers was shot down over Soviet Territory near Sverdlovsk.

Powers was held in prison for two years until 1962, when he was exchanged for Soviet Col. Rudolf Abel in the most dramatic East-West spy swap ever to occur in Cold War Berlin. Powers stepped on to the eastern end of the Berlin's Glienicke Bridge spanning the River Havel on February 10, 1962. At the other end of the bridge, stood Colonel Rudolf Abel, a heavily muffled Soviet master-spy, seized earlier by US security agents after setting up a red spy network in New York in the late 1950s.

At a precisely arranged signal, the two men strode on to the bridge, marching purposefully towards one another, Powers heading westward, Abel eastwards. In the middle of the bridge they passed each other silently, with barely a nod of their heads. That spy-swap operation was to be the forerunner of many such East-West prisoner exchanges to take place on the Glienicke Bridge over the next 27 years in Berlin.

We can learn a great deal from this chapter in American History.

Today the Soviet Union is no more. They have been replaced by a new enemy Terrorism. Wait that is wrong. They are still our enemy, just now Carl Rove wants us to refer to them as "Radical Extremists".

The leader of many of these Terrorists, I am sorry, "Radical Extremists" is a son of a bitch named Osama Bin Ladden.

I propose that we find a bridge between Afghanastan and Pakistan. We will give them our "radical extremist" George W. Bush, for their "radical extremist", and public enemy #1 Osama Bin Ladden.

And if they wish to agree to send the "radical extremist" Abu Musab al-Zarqawi (another evil SOB) across the bridge, we will agree to send them Carl "the Puppet Master" Rove.

By the way who do you think they will give us for Rumsfeld and Cheney?

Timeline of Katrina

2005-09-09T19:08:00.000-04:00

The compassion of most Americans, and many from around the world toward the people of New Orleans and the Gulf Coast has been remarkable. Those effected by this storm will need our love and compassion for a long time to come.

Our Congress has come through with over 50 Billion Dollars to aid those effected by the worst Natural Disaster in American History.

The Administration says now is not the time for finger pointing. While behind the scenes our President, Secretary of Homeland Security Chertoff, and Director Brown of FEMA have "cowardly" pointed the finger at State and Local Officials. Sure, the State of Louisiana and Mississippi have a historical track record of corruption, rather than leadership. But the pass the buck positioning along with the lies and rhetoric coming from the President and his Administration are regurgitated 24 hours a day by their propaganda machines of talk radio.

This Administration lives in a world without mirrors. In a information age, their information always seems to be wrong. The administration has excellent spin machines, but zero leadership and balks at accountabilty.

It is impossible to know the truth about Iraq and what was discussed behind closed doors. But, the competency of our President, Secretary of Homeland Security, and Director of FEMA can be measured during Katrina, as there were no closed doors to hide behind. In fact the press was in the field days before the Federal assistance arrived.

This is an objective account on what will be the tragic history of how this President's administration failed the people in New Orleans:

Thursday, August 25, 2005:

5:00 PM: The National Hurricane Center makes its first official reference to "Hurricane Katrina," thus upgrading it from tropical storm status.

7:00 PM: Katrina makes landfall in Florida.

Friday, August 26, 2005:

11:30 AM: Katrina is upgraded to a Category 2 hurricane.

5:00 PM: The National Hurricane Center issues an advisory forecasting that Katrina would soon be a Category 3 hurricane.

Louisiana Governor Kathleen Blanco declares a state of emergency for Louisiana.

Saturday, August 27, 2005

The President's weekly radio address focuses on Gaza withdrawal and the Iraqi constitution. No mention of the Hurricane is made.

That day, President Bush officially declares that a "state of emergency" exists in Louisiana and ordered Federal aid to the affected areas to complement state and local relief efforts.

Mississippi Governor Haley Barbour declares a state of emergency for Mississippi. (see public document)

5:00 PM: Mayor Nagin declares a State of Emergency and issues a voluntary evacuation order, saying he is having his legal team determine if he can order a mandatory evacuation without exposing the city to legal liability for the closure of hotels and other businesses.

11:00 PM: The National Hurricane Center issues a warning suggesting that Katrina is moving in a western direction in an area that includes New Orleans.

Sunday, August 28, 2005:

2:00 AM: Katrina is declared a Category 4 storm.

8:00 AM: Katrina is declared a Category 5 storm, the highest possible rating.

10:00 AM: New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin orders mandatory evacuations of the city.

Louisiana Governor Blanco sends letter to President Bush requesting various federal aid.

Later that morning, President Bush declares a state of emergency for both Mississippi and Alabama, and declared Florida a federal disaster area in light of damage done by Hurricane Katrina.

Afternoon: Director of the National Weather Service (NWS) National Hurricane Center (NHC), Max Mayfield, personally briefs President Bush about Katrina by videoconference.

Monday, August 29, 2005:

6:10 AM: Katrina, a Category 4 hurricane with 145 mph winds, makes initial landfall near Buras, La.

8:14 AM (CDT): The National Weather Service New Orleans office issues a flash flood warning stating there had been a breach in the Industrial Canal levee with 3 to 8 feet of water expected in the 9th ward and Arubi.

8:25 AM Hurricane Katrina Makes Landfall on Louisiana Coast line.

Levees break mid-morning, but most the city remains unflooded. Bush makes emergency disaster declarations for Louisiana , Mississippi, and Alabama, freeing up federal funds. 1:25 PM FEMA director Michael Brown waits 5 hrs after Katrina has hit to ask his boss, Michael Chertoff, for 1000 Homeland Security employees to be sent to the region and gave them two days to arrive.

Katrina rips two holes in the Superdome's roof. Some 10,000 storm refugees are inside. At least eight Gulf Coast refineries shut down or reduce operations. FEMA Head Michael Brown urges emergency service personnel "not to respond to hurricane impact areas unless dispatched by state, local authorities."

The American Red Cross announces that it is "launching the largest mobilization of resources in its history" to assist Katrina victims. FEMA encourages the public to donate to this and other private organizations involved in relief work.

Tuesday, August 30, 2005:

9:04 AM (PDT): President Bush delivers a speech on the 60th anniversary of V-J Day in which he talks mainly of the need to "stay the course" in Iraq.

9:24 AM (PDT): The AP reports that President Bush will cut short his vacation to focus on the storm damage.

Louisiana Gov. Kathleen Blanco says everyone still in New Orleans an estimated 50,000 to 100,000 people must be evacuated. Crowds swell at the Superdome and the New Orleans convention center.

10:00 PM CDT: New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin announces that the planned sandbagging of the 17th Street levee breach has failed.

Wednesday, August 31, 2005:

President Bush heads back to Washington from vacationing in Crawford, TX. Though he does not stop in Louisiana, Air Force One flies over the Gulf Coast so that he can view the devastation.

Federal officials declare the Gulf Coast a Public Health Emergency.

Shortly after 5 PM: President Bush holds a press conference in the Rose Garden of the White House during which he details his strategy for short-term recovery efforts.

Reported at 5:55 PM: DHS Secretary Michael Chertoff declares Katrina an 'Incident of National Significance', "triggering for the first time a coordinated federal response to states and localities overwhelmed by disaster." Declaration is first use of DHS National Response Plan.

Governor Kathleen Blanco of Louisiana orders that all of New Orleans, including the Superdome, be evacuated. An exodus from the Superdome begins, with the first buses leaving for Houston's Astrodome, 350 miles away.

New Orleans 's 1,500 member police force is ordered to abandon search and rescue missions and turn their attention toward controlling the widespread looting and a curfew is placed in effect. Mayor Ray Nagin calls for increased federal assistance.

11:09 PM: The Times-Picayune reports that 3,000 or more evacuees are stranded at the convention center.

Thursday, September 1, 2005:

2:00 AM: The first evacuees arrive at the Astrodome in Houston. The (suburban Chicago) Daily Herald reports that House Majority Leader Dennis Hastert says rebuilding New Orleans "doesn't make sense to me."

At 7:00 AM: President Bush appears on ABC News' Good Morning America. Diane Sawyer asks the President, " what's taking so long?" after telling Bush that "some of the things they have asked our correspondents to ask you is, they expected, they say to us, that the day after this hurricane that there would be a massive and visible armada of Federal support." Bush responds by noting that "I don't think anybody anticipated the breach of the levees. They did anticipate a serious storm."

At around the same time, evacuees from the New Orleans area and the Louisiana Superdome begin arriving at the Astrodome in Houston, Texas.

FEMA announces guidelines to contractors interested in "doing business with FEMA during the Hurricane Katrina recovery."

Looting, carjacking and other violence spreads, and the military decides to increase National Guard deployment to 30,000.

Nagin, the New Orleans mayor, calls the situation critical and issues ``a desperate SOS'' for more buses to evacuate those stranded at the Superdome.

Bush asks his father and former President Clinton to lead a fund-raising campaign for hurricane victims.

On NPR’s All Things Considered, Chertoff claims, "I have not heard a report of thousands of people in the convention center who don't have food and water."

On Nightline, Michael Brown tells Ted Koppel “We just learned of the convention center -- we being the federal government -- today.”

Friday, September 2, 2005:

The Reliant Center in Houston is opened to evacuees when the Fire Marshal declares the Astrodome to be at capacity. A chemical plant explosion rocks New Orleans in the early hours of the morning. Rumors that the chemical cloud produced by the explosion was toxic were later determined not to be credible.

President Bush tours Alabama, Mississippi and Louisiana to survey Katrina's damage. He describes the result of relief efforts up to that point as "not acceptable."

National Guard arrives in New Orleans.

FEMA releases a statement: "patience in the wake of Hurricane Katrina."

Congress approves and President Bush signs an initial $10.5 billion aid package for immediate rescue and relief efforts.

The Congressional Black Caucus, along with the NAACP, Black Leadership Forum, and the National Urban League express dismay over the sluggish relief efforts in New Orleans, citing the poverty of the victims as a primary reason for the delay.

The Bush administration asks Louisiana Governor Kathleen Blanco (D) to request a federal takeover of relief efforts. The move would have given the federal government control over Louisiana's National Guard and local police. The state eventually rejected the proposal.

Saturday, September 3, 2005:

Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff declares that Katrina constituted "a combination of catastrophes exceeded the foresight of the planners, and maybe anybody's foresight." CNN reports that "government officials, scientists and journalists have warned of such a scenario for years."

Chertoff also asserts that "our constitutional system really places the primary authority in each state with the governor," in response to a question about the federal government's response to the catastrophe.

Governor Kathleen Blanco (D-La) hires James Lee Witt, FEMA director under President Clinton, to advise her during the relief effort.

4:00 PM: the Department of Homeland Security releases a document of "Highlights of the United States Government Response to the Aftermath of Hurricane Katrina."

Sunday, September 4, 2005:

FEMA establishes a hotline to collect donations for assisting victims.

Jefferson Parrish president Aaron Broussard claims on Meet the Press that aid to his parrish was blocked by FEMA.

The Washington Post prints an article announcing that Louisiana Governor Blanco had not declared a state of emergency (later, it printed a correction, noting that she had, in fact, made the declaration on August 26, 2005)

Monday, September 5, 2005:

President Bush returns for second visit to the Gulf Coast region.

The AP reports that Kellogg Brown & Root, the subsidiary of Halliburton Co that has been criticized for its reconstruction work in Iraq, has begun work on a $500 million U.S. Navy contract for emergency repairs at Gulf Coast naval and marine facilities that were damaged by Hurricane Katrina.

While touring the Astrodome, Former First Lady Barbara Bush, tells American Public Media's "Marketplace" program:"Everyone is so overwhelmed by the hospitality. And so many of the people in the arena here, you know, were underprivileged anyway, so this, this is working very well for them.”

Tuesday, September 6, 2005:

Bush announces an investigation into what went wrong in hurricane relief efforts.

For additional updates and info go to talkingpoints

Perhaps Like the Federal AID the Accountability Has FINALLY Started to Arrive

2005-09-09T17:24:00.000-04:00

Here is the latest from the NBC News and News Service

NBC News and news services
Updated: 4:49 p.m. ET Sept. 9, 2005

GOP senator among critics Republican Sen. Trent Lott, whose Pascagoula, Miss., home was destroyed in the storm, said after the announcement that he had concluded that FEMA “was overwhelmed, undermanned and not capable of doing its job” under Brown’s leadership.

“Michael Brown has been acting like a private, instead of a general,” Lott said.

Democratic lawmakers weren’t satisfied with the move, and demanded Brown’s ouster from FEMA.

“The events of the last ten days have shown that Mr. Brown has repeatedly exercised poor judgment and has failed in his basic responsibilities,” said a letter to Bush from Senate Democratic Leader Harry Reid and Sens. Dick Durbin, Debbie Stabenow and Charles Schumer. “His continued presence in this critical position endangers the success of the ongoing recovery efforts. ... It is not enough to remove Mr. Brown from the disaster scene.”

For the ful story click HERE.

Some Things Will Not Go Away...

2005-09-08T17:19:00.000-04:00

A Great Cartoon from SmirkingChimp.com.

Bin Laden intent on attacking American.
The President and his administration delay.

Hurricane Katrina Hits New Orleans.
The President and his administration delay.

And then we have Tom?
Demand an Independent Investigation, NO DELAY!

Where There is Smoke, There Is Usually Fire

2005-09-08T16:50:00.000-04:00

Texas grand jury indicts PAC connected to DeLay

AUSTIN (AP) — A grand jury has indicted a political action committee formed by U.S. House Majority Leader Tom DeLay and a Texas business group in connection with 2002 legislative campaign contributions.

The five felony indictments against the two groups were made public Thursday. Neither DeLay nor any individuals with the business group has been charged with any wrongdoing.

The charge against Texans for a Republican Majority alleged the committee illegally accepted a political contribution of $100,000 from the Alliance for Quality Nursing Home Care.

Four indictments against the Texas Association of Business include charges of unlawful political advertising, unlawful contributions to a political committee and unlawful expenditures such as those to a graphics company and political candidates.

Attorney Roy Minton, who represents the Texas Association of Business, said Thursday its president has met with prosecutors, explaining how the group spent about $1.7 million in corporate money for mailings to educate voters on issues. The group has said its mailers did not advocate the election or defeat of any candidates, but were permissible issue ads.

Travis County District Attorney Ronnie Earle is investigating whether the contributions violate state bans against corporate money being spent directly on campaign activities.

The contributions to the 21 Texas House candidates helped Republicans gain a majority in the chamber in the 2002 election.

New Orleans French Quarter

2005-09-04T14:05:00.000-04:00

New Orleans French Quarter during better days.

My thoughts and prayers are with the citizens of New Orleans, the Gulf Coast communities, the brave people in uniform, relief organizations and volunteers who are doing all they can to assist our fellow Americans!

Disaster Hits the Big Easy

2005-09-04T13:59:00.000-04:00

The only thing greater than the City of New Orleans is its’ people.

While cities like New York are melting pots of diversity, in New Orleans it is truly a gumbo of cultures.

The wonderful laissez-faire “live for the day” attitude has been a way of life from the richest to the poorest in the culture of New Orleans. Laws have always been more of guidelines in New Orleans rather than cast in stone. So historically corruption has been a cornerstone in government for Louisiana, its Parishes, Baton Rouge (French for Red Stick) and New Orleans. Pick pocketing tourists is an applied art, and sexually transmitted diseases were the number one casualty of Yankee occupiers during the War of Northern Aggression.

It is a city in 1814, under the leadership of Andrew Jackson, that formed an army of professional soldiers, militias, pirates, Indians, and slaves to save the city from the British.

It is a city that gave America and the world Jazz.

It is a city that offers some of the world’s best street performers. Heck, I once saw a man in Jackson Square climb on top of extension ladder, straddle the top of it, and walk it down the street while he juggled fire.

I have seen 5-year-old tap dancers using their talents to hustle money from the tourists; I know I paid them some of mine.

And of course there are the musicians. It is hard to go anywhere in the French Quarter or the Garden District and fall out of earshot of music.

In route to the casino one afternoon with my dad (one of the best trips I ever went on), I had a New Orleans’ cab driver give me advice you would probably only hear in New Orleans. “Don’t play with scared money at the casinos," she said.

It is a city that merged Voodoo and Christianity.

It is a city that has given us culinary wonders, as the late Cajun cook Justin Wilson use to say, “A little wine in the pan, a little wine in the man.”

It is a city that is one of our nation’s best and it will rise again!

Tomorrow will be 1 week since the Category 4 Hurricane Katrina hit New Orleans and the Gulf Coast region. Levees in New Orleans that were engineered to withstand Category 3 Hurricanes obviously failed under the wake of this storm, flooding 80% of this great city.

For a couple of decades, leaders from New Orleans have been trying to get funding to improve the levee infrastructure. The project has a rather large price tag, approximately 14 billion dollars. However, it is a drop in the bucket compared to what we the American taxpayers spend every few days to support the President’s unprovoked invasion of Iraq.

When one of our nation’s greatest cities is in need of true homeland security, our President was calling short his vacation, and making speeches on how “looting will not be tolerated”.

No Mr. President, it is your stupidity that should no longer be tolerated.

If a citizen of the U.S. commits a stupid act that results in the death of someone we might be charged with involuntary manslaughter. Why not our president?

Once again our president’s lack of leadership has resulted in tragedy.

Over the past several years we have heard nonsense from this administration such as we never imagined planes could be used as missiles, that Iraq was a threat to our national security, and now we hear that we did not think the levees would break.
Approximately 3,000 people died on 9/11, almost two thousand brave men and women in uniform have died fighting a war the president started, and perhaps more Iraqi’s have died under U.S. occupation than under Saddam.

Now the President’s lack of leadership has made a horrible situation worst in New Orleans. Indeed, his stupidity and delayed efforts have led to the additional deaths of hundreds, if not thousands of Americans.

2005-08-24T23:40:00.000-04:00

Gaza Strip Under New Management?

The Gaza Strip Under New Management?

2005-08-24T17:45:00.000-04:00

It is a part of the world dotted with land grants. Land grants awarded to God's chosen people by none other than God himself. The problem is Muslims, Jews, and Christians all consider themselves God's chosen people, which for thousands of years has led to bloodshed in the holy lands, and made the mapmakers very prosperous.

This week we witnessed the emotional evacuation of Israeli settlers from Gaza. The Palestinians claim Gaza as part of their Holy Land.The Jews see it as their Holy Land, and they both hate each other. It really is a larger scale version of Krammer vs. Krammer with Gaza playing the part of the child.

This is a good thing, right?

True Israel is a strategic ally to America's security interest in the Middleeast. In fact Isreal is the best friend money can buy. On average Isreal imports more U.S. taxpayer dollars annually than any other country. And last week the U.S. taxpayer exported over 2 billion dollars into the evacuation of the Israeli settlers. This was a settlement our foreign policy (both democratic and republican) condemned from the start. Unfortunately their faith trumped our policy/money, and still we get stuck with part of the tab.

Perhaps this week we have witnessed the problem of any Religous State whether it is Christian, Islamic, or Jewish? Perhaps this week we have all been delivered the 11th Commandment. Common sense can not hold a candle to God.

I remember as a child in Sunday school being taught that "God is love", yet we live in a world of "My God can beat up your God"?

Up to this point Margaritaville had a better chance of Statehood, than Palestine. And yes this is a first step, but I would hold on to my salt rimmer if I were you.

What a Long Strange Trip It's Been...

2005-08-16T18:12:00.000-04:00

Back in late May I went to the doctor complaining of a sharp pain that ran from the lower left side of the back of my head all the way to my lower left side of my rib cage.

This was my third visit. I had had a precautionary MRI, anti-inflammatory medication, muscle relaxers, and painkillers. It was believed on each visit that I had severely pulled a muscle.

I have always had a very high tolerance toward pain, but this hurt. I called my wife after my second visit and updated her, and she convinced me into meeting her at the emergency room.

After many tests and a few hours the ER Doctor informed me I had cancer. Leukemia. A normal person’s white cell count is from 5,000 to 10,000. Mine was over 690,000.

I am 40 years old in good shape, a proud father of two, with the oldest being 5 and the youngest turning 1 in September.

I could not believe this was happening to me. Probably the first sentiment any young person has that is faced with the possibility of an early mortality due to a disease or injury.

This “why me” notion had no sooner entered my head, than I realized how selfish this thought was. There are many lotteries in life some baring great gifts and wonderful news others are bad even tragic.

So, “why not me”? My children would not be the first to lose a father early in their lives, nor my wife a husband, or my parents a son. In fact they are blessed with the love and support of family and friends few people could claim.

I even found dark comfort in how I might chose to take what I deem as some of societies evils out with me, before my time expired.

In my mind I decided my funeral would be a kegger, as I tried to decide what favorite songs would be played. I even decided I wished to be cremated.

It is amazing the thoughts that are produced when one has a mixture of bad news and morphine, yet I remember those hours like they were yesterday. I never shed a tear and had only that brief moment of feeling sorry for myself, for that I am proud.

I spent the next several days in the hospital while the doctors pumped me with medication to lower my white count and Morphine.

By the way Morphine is a wonderful thing, and best of all in the hospital there is no “last call”.

Because Leukemia cells are produced within the bones they took a bone sample out of my butt to send for the biopsy.
The results of the biopsy would determine the type of Leukemia I had, what phase it was in, how it would be treated, and how it would impact my life.

Let me take you back to the bone sample for a second. Anytime a doctor says you may feel a little pressure from a procedure, know that pressure and pain are interchangeable in Doctor speak.

I was released the day after this procedure from the hospital, although I was required to visit my doctor at the Cancer Center a couple times a week.

The first impression I had of the Cancer Center was that it was one of the most depressing places I had ever been. Its dull tan color walls in a medical complex from the 1960’s gave it a well-worn look. When you finally are called back to the examination room you walk past a room where patients sit in a circle while receiving their chemotherapy. While they set in an environment so they might socialize, seldom did I hear any conversations in passing. Most of the time these people sit quietly to themselves as poison was slowly sent through their veins in hope to kill off cancers within each of them. Others would receive radiation treatments.

These treatments will alter their appearances, make them constantly nauseous, weaken their bodies, and in the case of younger patients on radiation it ends the hope of having children if they do recover as they are often sterilized by the radiation. Lance Armstrong 7 time Tour De France winner and cancer survivor uses the phrase in his cancer foundation “Live Strong”. Perhaps 2 words have never better described cancer, not only what I have seen in the eyes of the patients at the Cancer Center, but in the hearts of their families and friends.

This disease has allowed me to witness first hand an element of human nature that I greatly admire, and for this I am thankful.

I have seen very sick people that still believe in hope.

I have seen a gentleman well into his 80s bringing his fragile wife in for treatments.

I have seen a boy barely old enough to drive bringing in his balding mother for chemo.

Each one of them demonstrating courage, hope, and had their own story. I wondered if each of them thought as I did when first diagnosed “why me”?, or if this was only a momentary lapse of weakness within my character.

My cancer doctor has been awesome. Must be one of the most difficult jobs one can have.

Meanwhile I waited for my biopsy. I promised myself that as soon as I had regained my energy I wanted to take my son out and spend a day doing the things we liked to do.

We went to breakfast and to the Museum of Natural Science. We went to the park where we rode the kiddie train, the carousel, and the paddleboats. We went to our favorite Italian restaurant for lunch, followed by Putt-Putt and Go Cart Racing.

It was a full and wonderful day. Some say that heaven is angels and harps, Hollywood once even claimed it was a baseball field in an Iowa cornfield, but for me it was clearly this day with my son.

After 5 weeks of waiting for the results of my biopsy I was finally diagnosed with Chronic Myelogenous Leukemia (CML).

While it is not good, ten years ago this would have been a death sentence.

Thanks to Dr. Druker many others and me have a great deal of hope. Dr. Druker was the founder of Gleevec, a drug that is now being used to treat CML and a few other forms of cancers. Doctors refer to it as a miracle drug.

If all goes well I will simply need to take this pill everyday for the rest of my life, similar to a diabetic using insulin.

There is always the possibility Gleevec will stop working, in which case I still have other traditional options for treating my Leukemia as well as other drugs that are now in clinical drug trials.

Within the next two weeks my cancer will be declared in remission.

I am lucky. Not only for getting better, but also for all the observations I have witnessed and shared in this article.

I am lucky because of the random acts of kindness from family, friends, and co-workers, which have at times left me on the verge of tears. They will never know how much these acts have been appreciated by my wife and I.

I would like to leave you with this thought.

Rich or Poor, Black or White, Christian or Jew cancer has no prejudices. It is an equal opportunity disease. It will claim the lives of over 500,000 people in the United States this year.

The hopes of Stem Cell research may eventually eliminate many of these cancers along with other diseases. So vote accordingly, your family members lives are in far greater danger of cancer than terrorists.

Finally my general practitioner that I have gone to for over 20 years is an excellent doctor. He missed this diagnosis, no big deal, but you know your body better than anyone. Push the envelope and if necessary seek a second opinion.

Nothing But Love…

The Bird

A Glance Into the Future

2005-05-20T23:16:00.000-04:00

No Filibuster?

Once the filibuster is eliminated there is a strong Neo Conservative push to replace The National Anthem with “Shall We Gather By the River.”

I'm Just a Bill, Yes I'm Only a Bill...

Hilliary Clinton says she will not run for President upon hearing that her husband, former President Bill Clinton signs on for Dutch Masters Cigars ad campaign. The first commercial he and Monica puff on a Dutch Masters Cigars while singing Peaches and Herbs “Reunited”.

“Laying of the Hands” Medical Clinic

After delivering his resignation Majority Leader Dr. Bill Frist will open a virtual “laying of the hands” medical clinic. Here’s how it works. If you have a medical condition from as simple as athletes foot to as complex as existing in a vegetative state, there is hope.

You may mail a home VHS videotape of you and your ailment to Bill Frist. And for a check or money order of $200 + $100 for shipping and handling Bill Frist will analyze your condition. By carefully reviewing your quality home video tape, he will prepare a personal diagnosis just for you.

Not only will you receive consultation from Dr. Bill Frist a Medical professional you will receive a beautiful 8” x 10” color photograph of Bill Frist’s hands. Based upon the location of your ailment, you simply place the photo of Bill Frist hands on the affective area(s).

Within two weeks if Bill Frists virtual “laying of the hands” procedure has not completely healed you simply return your picture and personal diagnosis within 30 days of purchase and they will refund your money. Sorry shipping charges cannot be returned.

And there’s more.

As if that were not enough each photo of Republican Senator Dr. Bill Frist hands will be blessed by former Republican Presidential Candidate Pat Robinson.

Anointments in Oil for the Common Man

Have you recently got a promotion? Maybe you kicked a man’s ass in a bar fight last night? Did you just find out that you were going to be made Deacon at “Pass Me a Snake in the Name of Jesus Holiness Church”? Or possibly you just killed a 14-point buck over the weekend? Or maybe you just got the news that your cousin got her period. Saving you the additional child support wage garnishments and embarrassing visits to the Springer show?

Whatever the reason you’re walking around with your chest poked out and feeling good.

But you are you having a tough time figuring out how you are going to mark this life milestone?

Have you ever considered anointing yourself in oil?

For the price you would pay to get that deer head mounted you could participate in a life-changing event this weekend and this weekend only. Not only will you be told how to mark your milestone, but how you might meet your financial dreams.

On Saturday June 8th in the Hampton Inn’s main conference room off Exit 666 Former Attorney General John Ashcroft will be hosting a powerful seminar “Anointment it Worked for Me, and It Can Work for You.” Each participant will receive 10 Gallons of Spearmint scent anointing oil, and realize the importance of anointment in marking not only milestones, but also the challenges we all face from time to time.

"Whether it is losing and election to a deadman, or being appointed Attorney General of the United States, anointing myself in oil has helped me through the crucifications and ressurections of life"- John Ashcroft

The practice of anointing oneself in oil has always been a significant part of former Attorney General John Ashcroft’s quests in life. During this event John Ashcroft will share with you how to speak in tongues, and the spiritual virtue of anointing yourself in oil.

The seminar will provide you with enough spearmint scent anointing oil to fulfill your next 10 oil anointments. Additional anointing oil (in bubble gum, cherry, and new car scent) may be purchased at John Ashcroft’s web site www.slipperyguy.com.

Than on Sunday June 9th Former Representative Tom Delay will share with you how you can participate in the growing industry of Indian casinos. You will learn how you might make big money with no money down in lobbying corrupt Senators and Congressman on behalf of Native American Casino lobbyists.

Call now! No Delay!! Space is Limited!!! 1-888-NO-PRIDE.

It is official Dr. Phil has been tapped as the 2008 GOP Presidential candidate!

Barbara Bush seeks retroactive abortions. Jeb and George once again turns to the Supreme Court.